Mystic World

In the 40 years writing my weekly column, thousands of my readers have asked for help and advice when it comes to dealing with heartache, family resentment, the pain of loss and feelings of hurt and betrayal. 

We’ve all gone through it, so nobody is alone. It’s really impossible to get through this life without being offended, lied to, hurt, used, abused, rejected or misunderstood. Learning how to respond properly is one of the basics of a healthy life. 

Unfortunately, many people feel victimized and sink into despair and even have suicidal thoughts. But for this New Year’s you can start off on a new path of finding peace and happiness. In a word: FORGIVENESS.

To forgive is to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt.

WHAT DOES FORGIVENESS MEAN? 

Forgiveness is at the core of making your life better, happier and more fulfilling. If you are at a standstill at this time, if nothing good seems to be happening, then it’s time to do something about it. Why carry around all that negativity when you can let it go by forgiving?

The dictionary defines forgiveness as the act of no longer blaming somebody or holding onto feelings of anger toward somebody who has wronged you. Psychologists will tell you that forgiveness is a conscious and deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or retribution. In other words, letting it go.

Money is a big part of learning to forgive. Lending money often leads to bad feelings when it isn’t paid back by a certain date or in full, or it’s used for something you don’t approve of. When you loan money, you must do it with the assumption that you will never get it back and that there are no strings attached. That way you won’t carry around resentment toward the person you loaned it to if you never see it again.

Consider it a gift and ask that person to pay it forward to somebody else who needs it. This is a gift of forgiveness for yourself! It’s another way of letting it go.

Genuine forgiveness is a challenge to one’s ego. It’s hard to forgive someone who did something bad to
you, but carrying the burden for years or even decades causes more damage to your body, mind and soul than you can even imagine!

Some people thrive on feeling hurt, betrayed and used. They play the martyr and complain endlessly. They use these bad feelings as weapons to destroy relationships and reputations.

But weapons can cause you to self-destruct as well! If you don’t want to go down in flames, start your acts of forgiveness with one person. Repeat, three times every day: “I forgive so-and-so for hurting me. I release that hurt.” The more you do this exercise, the easier it gets.

It is important to remember that forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. Instead, it is an act of love, mercy and grace — more for you than for the person causing the hurt.

Yes, it will be hard to learn the art of forgiveness. You’ll want to resist what I am telling you. But try it anyway. I guarantee it will give you a feeling of release, peace of mind and physical well-being.

And while you’re at it, forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made along the way and for things you might have said or done to hurt others. Instead, use those experiences as lessons in making you a better person. If you don’t believe me, just look at these passages in the Bible:

We forgive them because God forgave us (Ephesians 4:31- 32; Romans 5:8).

We forgive because we have been forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32).

We forgive in obedience to God (Matthew 6:14-15; Romans 12:18).

We forgive others to gain control of our lives from hurt emotions (Genesis 4:1-8).

We forgive so we won’t become bitter and defile those around us (Hebrews 12:14-15).

Forgiving makes you whole again and lets you have a true sense of self-worth. The act of forgiveness leads to a deep level of self-transformation. Once you set this process in motion, it will change your life

for the better. Forever. Amen.